"But the (insert your holy book) teaches us how be good people. It teaches us right and wrong." Bullshit - We know right and wrong because of our (hopefully) ethical upbringings. We don't need to be good to get into heaven, we are good because it's the right thing to do.The only commandments you'll ever need are:
- Don't purposefully hurt anybody else.
- Have a fucking riot while you're here.
I know what you're thinking, "Have you been working out? You look great" - I have, thanks for noticing. But you're also thinking "What's this got to do with the meaning of life you self-righteous bastard?" - Well, religious people believe that the point of our existence is to lead a good life so that we can have eternal happiness in heaven. Once you realise that we're not going to heaven then you've got to wonder why we're here.
Some people will literally murder another human being for more money or power. In everyday life people will try to crush, hurt, sabotage others just for a promotion....or to get financially raped by Simon Cowell on a talent show. Other people strive for legacy, they want their name on a building or to have done something so that they'll be remembered after they die.
When you're lead on your deathbed, or under the bus that hit you or holding a gun to your own temple, do you really think it mattered how much money you earned, how many cars you owned or how many fucking buildings have your name on?
Life is about the connections we make with people, good or bad. Life is about those connections and the consequences of them. When you close your eyes for that final time, you won't be thinking of the big house you and your wife lived in, you'll be thinking of the smile on her face the first time you made her laugh. You won't think about the expensive bike your parents bought you as a kid, but your dad holding the bike upright while he was teaching you to ride it. You won't think of the thread-count of the sheets your wife bought, but that feeling of absolute contentment every time you fell asleep with her next to you.
In general, life isn't short, in the U.K today the average life expectancy is 79.9.You should do the most you can with everyday, not because life is short but because life is fucking long. You're gonna be sat in an old-people's home for maybe a quarter of your life- Live now so that at least you can close your eyes and remember when you were this young, this thin, this good-looking.This person.
You've got plenty of time to earn your money, to buy cars and houses, but you've only got a short time to make the memories that'll last forever. Nights out with friends, holidays, adventures, drink, drugs, fucking. You can only do something the first time once - First drink, first holiday with mates, first time you fall in love, first time you get your heart broken, first child. You'll remember them for the rest of your life, so get 'em right the first time.
This blog has been long and overly sincere but I can't finish it without telling the story of Samuel Herpes. Herpes was a great man, he was great at two things, loving women and molecular genetics. He lived his whole life in the pursuit of women........and finding a cure to having an extra testicle.
Shortly after his 50th birthday his third testicle began to grow at an exponential rate. Herpes increased his efforts to find a cure....and to love more women. After months and months of struggle (mainly with walking) he found the cure, but it came just one day before he died. He documented his results so that nobody would have to suffer like he did.
On his deathbed he called every woman he'd ever loved into his bedroom, the room was full, maybe 30 or 40 women. Herpes said that he would like to love each of these women just one more time. The women were only happy to oblige. They all undressed and waited for their time with him, that's when they noticed they all had a rash on their genitals. One woman said "Samuel, what is this?", he said "I don't know, but you should call it Herpes".
Another woman chimed in, "But I thought you were going to call your cure to having an extra testicle The Herpes method?". He replied "Why would I want to be remembered for spending my life in a lab, when I could be remembered for loving all of you". And with that, he died.
Peace and fucking (use condoms).
When you're lead on your deathbed, or under the bus that hit you or holding a gun to your own temple, do you really think it mattered how much money you earned, how many cars you owned or how many fucking buildings have your name on?
Life is about the connections we make with people, good or bad. Life is about those connections and the consequences of them. When you close your eyes for that final time, you won't be thinking of the big house you and your wife lived in, you'll be thinking of the smile on her face the first time you made her laugh. You won't think about the expensive bike your parents bought you as a kid, but your dad holding the bike upright while he was teaching you to ride it. You won't think of the thread-count of the sheets your wife bought, but that feeling of absolute contentment every time you fell asleep with her next to you.
In general, life isn't short, in the U.K today the average life expectancy is 79.9.You should do the most you can with everyday, not because life is short but because life is fucking long. You're gonna be sat in an old-people's home for maybe a quarter of your life- Live now so that at least you can close your eyes and remember when you were this young, this thin, this good-looking.This person.
You've got plenty of time to earn your money, to buy cars and houses, but you've only got a short time to make the memories that'll last forever. Nights out with friends, holidays, adventures, drink, drugs, fucking. You can only do something the first time once - First drink, first holiday with mates, first time you fall in love, first time you get your heart broken, first child. You'll remember them for the rest of your life, so get 'em right the first time.
This blog has been long and overly sincere but I can't finish it without telling the story of Samuel Herpes. Herpes was a great man, he was great at two things, loving women and molecular genetics. He lived his whole life in the pursuit of women........and finding a cure to having an extra testicle.
Shortly after his 50th birthday his third testicle began to grow at an exponential rate. Herpes increased his efforts to find a cure....and to love more women. After months and months of struggle (mainly with walking) he found the cure, but it came just one day before he died. He documented his results so that nobody would have to suffer like he did.
On his deathbed he called every woman he'd ever loved into his bedroom, the room was full, maybe 30 or 40 women. Herpes said that he would like to love each of these women just one more time. The women were only happy to oblige. They all undressed and waited for their time with him, that's when they noticed they all had a rash on their genitals. One woman said "Samuel, what is this?", he said "I don't know, but you should call it Herpes".
Another woman chimed in, "But I thought you were going to call your cure to having an extra testicle The Herpes method?". He replied "Why would I want to be remembered for spending my life in a lab, when I could be remembered for loving all of you". And with that, he died.
Peace and fucking (use condoms).
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