Me

Anybody who knows me will know that I don't like talking about myself.........in the first person. I don't really like talking about myself in the third person either, "Richard Howarth once went on a date to the cinema and cut a hole...." - it just doesn't sound right. Though using "He" to describe myself is kinda on the right lines (I think capitalising the H in He is what you do when referring to God, which is more the vibe I'm going for.)

As I got no responses to my personal ad in my previous blog, I'm just gonna list some characteristics, likes and dislikes that should attract some attention. Think of it as word-bait on the fish-hook of love, dangled in the lake of opportunity (First characteristic, great with analogies)

Hobbies

Drinking - I enjoy the occasional drink. I don't do anything half-hearted (except draw the half-a-heart chain my mother left me, my adopted brother has the other half; I'll find him one day). I drink to get drunk, but I don't over do it - If I'm passed out on the floor, chocking on my own vomit then I'll just stick to shots after that; I don't go crazy.

Bear-baiting- Nothing makes you feel like more of a man than going toe-to-toe with one of natures most powerful killers (who has been chained up and sedated) - It's electric.

Sport- I will compete at anything. I don't care who it's against or what sport it's at, I give 110% (I know you think it's impossible to give 110%, I bet you also think it's impossible to have three testicles, it's not). So if you wanna take me on your can, F.Y.I my specialities are bear-baiting, long distance shouting and who's got the most testicles.

Comedy- I will laugh at anything. I love to laugh. I like to laugh and to make other people laugh and smile. I will often invite friends over and spike their drink with a muscle relaxant such as oxycontin. I then dress as a pike and shout "I'm a fish out of water"- they laugh for hours. Then when they pass out or fall down the stairs, I get a good laugh.

Science- I love all science. I love the "factiness" of it all (Copyright is pending on "factiness") I love the black and white (and Asians). There are no grey areas (except the grey areas). I'm a firm believer in evolution and anybody who believes in creationism is an idiot and will go to hell.

Philanthropy- I'm a big believer in charity and I don't just mean fat chicks. I give to charity a lot. I recently donated three blind seeing-eye dogs to the local blind home to help catch out benefit cheats. The program was somewhat successful in that four people are no longer claiming benefits, you're welcome.

Having listed all my hobbies I have run out of space to discuss and other attributes, including physical attractiveness; let's just say that you won't be disappointed **

**DISCLAIMER** If you were expecting Richard to be physically attractive then you will be disappointed.