Delusions Of Grandeur

I recently told all my friends that I'll be doing stand up on Monday. Most of them were supportive, pleased or couldn't give a flying fuck.....I have nothing but respect for those people. However, one of my friends said that I was delusional. Now, I'm not the smartest person you'll ever meet, I chose to do stand up because all you have to do is stand up and talk. I've been practising all week and I'm almost there - I've qualified from lying down in a prone position and talking, through lying down in a supine position and talking and now I'm at kneeling but no talking. I should be okay by Monday. But I don't know what delusional means, so I looked it up-

"A small defensive eathwork or fort"

I had no idea how this was relevant to me but I respected my friend's opinion, so I chose to look in to this further...by looking up what an earthwork or a fort is. I understood the defensive part. I've been called defensive at every intervention my family has ever had.....no more so than the suit of armour intervention. I went back to my mate to ask him what he meant. I don't want to reveal who it is cos you might know him, but I said, "Listen, Fernando, what did you mean when you called me delusional? I am not a fort!". He explained that  I was an idiot and that he meant that I was a megalomaniac - That I had a belief in my own abilities far beyond my talent and that I'll never be a good stand up, "Thanks for explaining that" I said - I was so relieved.

I just want you to know that Richard Howarth does not have ideas above his station. His comedy will touch the hearts of millions and burn far beyond infinity. One day you'll tell your children his joke about ethnic cleansing or his bit about his racist penis. He is not a small defensive eathwork or fort. He is a stand up comedian (or a kneeling comedian).