Why Men Do Anything - Civilisation's Milestones

Whether directly or indirectly, consciously or subconsciously, men do everything for one thing - Women.


A lot of the milestones of civilisation were not born out of necessity, chance or evolution, but purely by man's desire to see, touch and fuck women throughout the ages. I will take you through some of those milestones, and help shed new light on the subject.


Fire - Shedding light on to the subject was the reason men invented fire, the subject being hairy cavewoman titties. Many "qualified" anthropologists will say that cavemen invented fire to keep themselves warm, cook food and ward off predators, that's not true- I've seen the first 23 minutes of The Planet off the Apes, I know how shit went down.
Cavemen invented fire mainly because those caves are dark and they were sick of not being able to see what they were doing. Mrs.Caveman loved it cos it meant that he couldn't see her chunky thighs, sagging belly, her hairy back or her brow-ridge, but Mr Caveman doesn't care about any of that (he really doesn't), he invented fire so he could see the whole dog and pony show (incidentally, it was at the first ever dog and pony show that Mr and Mrs Caveman met).
Now that he could see Mrs. Caveman in all her glory, he could then use the fire to illuminate his cave and paint the walls with her splendour.....incidentally, this is how pornography was invented. Sadly, illuminating Mrs.Caveman and painting her on the walls for the whole world to see made her self-conscious. She felt pressure to attain the stick-figure body that was being plastered on the walls by his minimalistic cave-paintings. She took extreme measures to attain the perfect body- Pilates to help her stand upright, relentless waxing of her legs, arms, back, face, chest and of course, vagina. It was this strive for perfection that transformed man from homo habilis to homo erectus (sorry, had to).


Opposable Thumbs - Even before men invented fire, they purposefully, with great thought grew an opposable thumb, this was purely for shocker purposes. Now I know what you thinking "the shocker only uses fingers, two in the pink, one in the stink...maybe two, there's no thumb involved" - But cavemen were the first perpetrators of the advanced shocker, two in pink, one or two in the stink, and the thumb to work the clit. A caveman would never neglect the clit- Textbook.
Men were also very grateful when women grew an opposable thumb as it meant that they could give Western grip style handjobs - The biggest breakthrough in handjobs ever......until lube.


Bridges - Sure the "Fact-Police" will tell you that men invented bridges to get across water or a large canyon. Not true. Men were very happy with their location and didn't require any water or canyon crossing. It was more an issue with the women in the area. Don't get me wrong, they were very happy with the women they had. They liked what was here - In clubs today you'll often hear modern men say "have you seen the women in here", "I can't wait til the hotties get here", I'd fuck every person in here". But there's the hunter-gatherer nature in men that makes us look for women there - "Look at her over there", "I'd like to put my penis in there", "You reckon there are sluts in there" - As satisfied as men were with they women they had, they couldn't help but see what other women they could have. The only thing men prefer to women is more women - Boom! It's a bridge, bitch.


Moon - The great space-race. America's competition with the Soviets for dominance of space, and bragging rights over their superior technology- Rubbish. They were trying to get there to see what women were there, to allay the rumours that there might be some sneaky little moon-pussy up there- Sadly, there wasn't.
For the astronauts themselves it added a whole new dimension to their game. Rather than tell women that they were merely war-hero fighter pilots, they could now tell women that they were spacemen. Neil Armstrong was famous for going around America chatting up women with "When you've got 12 million pounds of thrust at your disposal you've got to know how to handle it", "Do you want to be the first woman on the first man on the moon", and of course "I've been to the moon, wanna fuck?" - A true American hero, an inspiration to us all.


I had a lot more to write, pretty much everything else invented in human history, but I have to go to the gym (to get ripped and fuck women), then I'm cooking dinner (learnt to cook to fuck women), then I'm off to night school, taking a course in eating pussy (my work paid for that. Odd). Oh and then I'm volunteering with mentally challenged children (after brushing my teeth) - Need I say more? NEED I SAY MORE?!!